I have read a few articles on the recent bullying of a child in South Africa. This article and video circulated on social media – I chose not to watch the video.
Bullying is prevalent in every society – nobody is excluded. Even at the workplace – we find the bullying mentality in some corners of the room. Sometimes this happens without the bully even knowing that they are being a bully. Let us get into this a bit. According to neuro-science there are several reasons why people bully. This could be a lack of self confidence, or perhaps some trauma that the bully has experienced in his/her own life. Therefore, the bully feels that he is in control of a situation when he bullies – and this makes him feel good about him/herself. The recipient of the bullying is affected at several levels. Emotionally, psychologically and sometimes even physically – harm at all levels.
I see bullying taking place in the classroom so often. I stop to address this – explaining to the children exactly how bulling affects them and those around them. I stop – to think about how my own children will be affected if they are bullied, how will this affect them over a long-term period. I talk about bullying at home, both my girls know the characteristics of a bully and know when they are bullied. I have explained to them that they need to share any uncomfortable interactions with a trusted adult (either at home or at school). By having these conversations, I find that I am creating a comfortable and safe space for them to share their feelings (even insecurities) if and when they do arise. As adults the onus is upon us to create awareness around this sensitive topic. What we need to realise also, is that bullying within the home can cause a ripple effect – when children see this happening, they tend to mirror the adults around them and find targets at school. This is the reality, children mirror adults who are loved and trusted.
How can we make a difference: Talk to your child about bullying. Being a victim of bullying or the bully – has consequences. Children tend to laugh and mock others easily, name-call, use other children to help them with carrying school bags, or even paying for treats and snacks. The victim is often way too afraid to speak up or stand up for themselves. Therefore, by having conversations around this topic – your child will feel more comfortable to share if they have experienced any form of bullying.
Seek help. Should your child be a bully – then please do seek professional help. If you feel that you can handle this at home – then read material that is available online or in print – to help you empower your child to move away from bullying. I know, that when it comes to ones own child – it is often difficult to admit when there is some weakness. However, it is essential that you do address this – and not completely ignore it.
Bullying at the workplace. Sometimes, even as adults there is bullying. Be sure to seek help – share the status with someone that you trust and take the necessary measures to protect yourself and your mind-space. Remember that by you addressing the matter, you are not only helping yourself (if you are a victim of bullying) but also the potential future victims that the bully may attack.
