Men are used to taking care of the family silently, almost as an expectation and they work hard for their families, many times with no thanks at all.
Sunday, 20 June will celebrate fathers around the world who play a vital role in their families and in society. Even though, fathers play an important role, statistics show that most perpetrators of violent crimes against women and children are male figures. The Phoenix Tabloid spoke to fathers from the community about this sensitive issue. Ridwaan Joseph, a father of two from Visacroft, Phoenix said being a good father takes commitment, good values and morals which need to be instilled in the family. “It does come down to being the supporter and provider but even though you are not in the position to support and provide, the respect that you command as a father will carry you through as the head of the household.” Joseph condemned women abuse, rape and other violence perpetrated against women. “I’m totally against violent crimes directed at women, I find it abhorrent, I simply cannot express the dislike for men that behave in that manner – where you are supposed to be the security provider for your family, make sure that they are not exposed to harm and injury – you then turn the tables around and use that situation to exert power. For me, that’s not the way for men to be respected, if anything at all, you are more hated and more disrespected,” said Joseph.
His message to men who perpetrate violent crimes on women is: “Like a drug addict, if you think you need help, get help, no one is born with the ability to be a good person, let alone a good parent. Some of us were fortunate to have had good examples and role models in our lives and understandably for whatever the reason, some men didn’t have these or the upbringing where the male figure was dominant and a provider not only in the sense of food, a roof over your head but also to make sure that the family unit is safe and secured and not exposed to the negative elements in life.” Sending a special message for fathers out there this Father’s Day, Joseph added, “For the fathers that are good fathers, keep it up, and continue to be the role models and good examples to other fathers. For those that are finding themselves lacking and can’t even identify it, look at your role model next door – it can’t be that every father in the neighbourhood is a bad parent. There’s always someone next door, or a few houses away that is a good example of how it should be done. If you didn’t get it from your family background, then let your neighbour be your role model for you to do well as a father.”
Another Phoenix father of two, Ashley Debideen, expressed that he treats his partner as his equal and his children as friends. “Due to gender-based violence our children are exposed to unnatural behaviour and therefore become victims or are victimised. The laws in our country are very lenient towards perpetrators of violent crimes and abuse. The sentences invoked upon such criminals see them back into society, committing the same crimes over and over again. I feel that our justice system has failed us. Our children look up to us as their role models and we should work together to respect all women as our sisters. In so doing, we can alleviate rape situations and other crimes directed at women,” said Debideen. Sunford father of three, Tony Chetty added his voice, stating that, “I believe that honesty and good communication with family is what makes a good father. I have always related in this way with my family. On a daily basis, the news is full of horrendous articles on rape, murder, and abuse of women and children. This makes me angry that men can hurt those who love them so much. My wish for my own children and the young ones in our community is that they will respect the lives of their families in the future.”
Speaking to The Phoenix Tabloid, Analisa Naidoo, a social worker at the Sahara Shelter, an organisation that deals with abused women and children said, “Often, when children come in with their mothers, they already have an idea of what violence is and in these cases, violence comes from male figures. We have 10-year-old children who can vividly describe the scenario that transpired at home when the mother was being abused by the father. Children look up to their parents as role models and that is not the role we want them to grow up into. Fathers need to play a role in showing their kids that there is more to relationships than just violence.” The management and staff of Tabloid Newspapers take this opportunity in wishing all fathers a happy Father’s Day for Sunday, 20 June.
