After meeting by chance at a family wedding in 1969, Krishna and Selvarani Raman defied family expectations and secretly dated for six years before tying the knot. The Phoenix couple recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary and shared their journey of love, challenges, and the secrets to a successful marriage.
After five decades since tying the knot, Krishna, 78, and Selvarani, 72, are still in love, just like when they met in 1969. Speaking to the Phoenix Tabloid, Selvarani said, “It was a chance meeting when my Krishna’s brother was invited to my sister’s wedding. He brought Krishna with him – that was when we met for the first time. It was love at first sight. I was 15 and he was 21, but our families didn’t know much about how we felt about each other at that time.”
She said they dated secretly for six years before getting married. “We had a lot of drama before our marriage. My family had suitors lined up for me to get married, but I kept stalling because I wasn’t ready. But the actual truth was that I had already met the love of my life. I moved to Durban from Mandeni to work at SA Clothing, and I lived with my sister. Krishna and I wrote letters to each other, and when we had money, we made telephone calls,” said Selvarani.
Soon thereafter, they started meeting without anyone knowing. Krishna was from Stanger and worked at a printing press. “We secretly met. My sister was strict and wanted me home at a certain time, so it was difficult, but we always made it work. Eventually, Krishna finally had the guts to ask my dad for my hand in marriage when I was 21 years old and he was 27. My family refused. I begged my father to allow me to marry Krishna, and he eventually agreed, but had to persuade my strict mother. He loved that my husband was a Govender boy – we were Moodleys. Eventually, my mother agreed after Krishna spoke to her, and we were proposed in December 1974. I was delighted,” said Selvarani.
In April 1975, the couple, who knew they were meant for each other, wed in a beautiful ceremony at the Stanger Town Hall. “Our wedding was one of the biggest, with 1,000 guests. Those days, there were no invites. Everyone you knew was invited. The festivities carried on until the evening.” After marriage, Selvarani started her own dressmaking business, which she still runs today, and Krishna later became a traffic officer until he retired. They had their first-born child, a son, in 1977 and thereafter were blessed with two daughters. The Ramans currently have five grandsons and one granddaughter.
“We worked hard together to make our family successful and happy. We are a close-knit family. Marriage has taught me to be understanding, tolerant, and compassionate about most situations. Even if there are quarrels in the day, we never go to bed upset or angry. It is forgotten before the end of the day,” said Krishna. He said he was excited to have spent so many years with the love of his life, especially since they supported the same soccer team. “It feels great to achieve 50 years together and still be happy. We enjoy travelling and our mutual love for Manchester United and sports in general are our passions. We also love our family and friends, and still entertain often,” he said.
Krishna said marriages these days end before they begin because there is a lack of communication between couples and spending quality time together. “Let bygones be bygones. Life is for living and to be happy. Cellphones are a huge distraction from personal interaction. Marriages are definitely different now compared to our days. Couples argue more and tend to make rash decisions. I’ve always considered my wife’s feelings,” said Krishna. The golden pair spent their anniversary with their loved ones in a cosy setting at their daughter’s factory in Phoenix. “We celebrated by having a party with our friends, family, and anyone who had made an impact in our lives. It was wonderful,” added Krishna.
