Strength is often discovered in life’s most unexpected moments, and for Thabile Kunene, that strength revealed itself through her journey of raising her youngest son, Shaka.
Following Autism Awareness Day observed on Thursday, 2 April, Kunene’s story has become one of unwavering love, resilience and hope, as she continues to navigate life with a child on the autism spectrum.
Kunene first became aware that Shaka was developing differently at the age of four. Trusting her instincts, she sought help at her local clinic, which led to a referral to KwaZulu-Natal Children’s Hospital. There, Shaka was diagnosed with autism and ADHD (level 2), marking the beginning of a journey filled with both challenges and growth.
“The journey was very difficult. I had to take leave from work almost every week to attend appointments with doctors, social workers, speech therapists and occupational therapists,” she explained.
Kunene admits that while accepting her son’s diagnosis was not difficult, understanding how to care for him was: “I didn’t know how to calm him when he was angry or how to handle his tantrums. He would sometimes break things at home, like the TV and windows, and wake up early jumping on the bed. It was overwhelming.”
Despite these challenges, Shaka’s loving nature has been a constant source of strength. “He is very affectionate, always giving hugs and kisses out of the blue. That’s what makes him so special to me,” she said.
His development took a positive turn when he started Grade 1 at RP Moodley School in 2024. “Before school, he couldn’t form sentences. Now he can speak and even say things like, ‘Mom, can I have bread?’ That made me such a proud mother,” said Kunene.
Kunene credits the school, along with therapists, for helping improve Shaka’s communication and behaviour. His vocabulary has grown, and he is now eager to learn and express himself.
At home, the family has also adapted. Although his siblings initially struggled to understand him, they have since become supportive and inclusive. “They try their best to teach him new words and make sure he is not left out when they play or talk,” she said.
Like many children on the autism spectrum, Shaka can become overwhelmed by noise and unfamiliar environments. Public spaces, especially busy areas and taxi rides, can be distressing. “It’s very emotional for me to see him scared or crying. I just pray that one day I can have my own car to make things easier for him,” Kunene shared.
Through it all, she has learned valuable lessons about patience, understanding and communication. “Autistic children need love and support from the whole family. Routine is important, and as parents, we must learn how to communicate with them in a way they understand,” said Kunene.
She also encourages other parents to seek help early: “If you notice unusual behaviour, like delayed speech, hyperactivity or isolation, go to your nearest clinic. Don’t delay and don’t be in denial. Early intervention can make a big difference.”
Kunene believes there is still more that can be done to support families like hers, particularly when it comes to access to education. “The government should increase the number of schools for children with special needs. Many parents don’t send their children to school because there are no spaces available,” she said.
Reflecting on her journey, Kunene said raising Shaka has revealed her own strength: “God gave me Shaka because He trusted me. This journey has shown me that I am stronger than I thought.”
Kunene’s message to parents who have special children are: “Our children are special and normal, they are just different. These children are capable. They just need time, care and acceptance. If we stand together as a community, we can make their journey, and ours, so much easier.”
