As Father’s Day fast approaches, many will take some time to appreciate the most special men in their lives, from making breakfast to washing their cars, fathers everywhere will be celebrated on 20 June.
Fathers and father figures, who have long stood at the foundation of a loving family and are ever ready to take control as braai master or to help change a tire, will soon sit back and enjoy the spoils. However, what does being a father mean? To Lionel Naidoo, a father of two sons, it means putting one’s family before one’s own needs. “Before Lyle, who is just over two years now, I thought I was living, doing whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted but it’s only after he was born that I realised what living really is. Now whatever I do is done with a purpose, and that’s to keep smiles on those little faces. Honestly I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in two years but I wouldn’t change it for anything.” The 38-year-old Tongaat resident said when he learnt that he was about to be a father, he did everything he could to prepare himself. “We got the ‘baby essentials’ according to Anishka, my wife. That was the physical preparation but for the mental part I decided to start reading. I read articles online, received some material from the doctor visits and even bought books. No matter how much I read and prepared myself, it was worth nothing. No textbook nor the internet, with its vast expanse of knowledge, can prepare you for these little humans.”
Before becoming a father, Naidoo went through a roller coaster of emotions. “At the hospital we were told that we were going in at 12.15pm to get prepared for theatre, at 12.18 I was super anxious and the nurses were late. By 12.20pm my wife had to calm me down and at 12.22 I had to resort to the breathing application on my smart watch to be calm. Truth be told, I was too overwhelmed to even think. But the moment I got him in my arms I knew immediately that its time to ‘man up’. I knew in order for him to be responsible, I had to be responsible. The mental shift was as quick as light.” Even with two years’ experience Naidoo said there is always something to learn. “Although we used the same parenting methods on both our boys, due to their personalities, the outcomes are totally different. So every day is a new experience. But being a father is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I have certainly done something right along the way because I am blessed with the most amazing boys. The priceless moments of watching each milestone leaves me stunned in amazement and later wished I grabbed my phone to record it. It’s truly rewarding to know that you played a part when you see the joy on your kids face and for me what was even more rewarding was that after weeks of Anishka repeating ‘mama’ both the boys eventually said their first word ‘dada’.”
As much as Naidoo believes he does everything he can to be a good father he admits that he would be “in serious trouble” if not for his wife. “She is up to date with current parenting trends and she is well versed with the old school bits as well. We initially didn’t always agree on certain methods of parenting because of our personalities, but we quickly found middle ground and it works. She is a super mom.” Naidoo’s advice to young men about to be fathers is to remember that you are now responsible for a human being. “The person that child becomes is a direct reflection on the way they were raised. Whatever is put in is what comes out. If the child is exposed to love, respect, proper family values, sound religious beliefs then that’s what the child will exhibit but if it’s the opposite, if a child is exposed to hate, foul language, violence and disrespect then expect a menace to society. Being a dad is amazing but it requires a lot of work. You really got to man up.”
