January marks International Child-Centered Divorce Month, a global initiative dedicated to raising awareness about the emotional and psychological impact of divorce and related litigation on children. By encouraging parents to prioritise their children’s well-being, the campaign underscores the importance of mediation and other child-focused strategies during and after divorce proceedings.
“Children should never be collateral damage in a divorce,” says Susan Abro of Susan Abro Attorneys. “Parents must remain mindful of the long-term effects their actions can have on their children, especially when conflict escalates. A collaborative, child-centred approach can protect their emotional and psychological health.”
In South Africa, recent changes to High Court and Regional Court rules highlight the role of mediation in family law matters. Before initiating divorce proceedings, parties must indicate whether they have attempted mediation or provide reasons for refusing to do so. Alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation and collaborative procedures, are becoming increasingly important in addressing issues involving minor children.
Although arbitration is not yet permitted in family law cases in South Africa, the Law Society’s Family Law Committee has proposed amendments to the Arbitration Act for consideration by the Minister of Justice. These proposed changes aim to enable arbitration in family law cases, offering cost-effective solutions while maintaining a child-centred focus. “Mediation and collaboration ensure that children’s needs are prioritised and reduce the likelihood of prolonged conflict,” explains Abro.
A recent High Court matter, conducted by Susan Abro Attorneys, underscores the importance of prioritising children’s needs during custody disputes. In this case, a senior magistrate and his wife were found in contempt of court for aiding their daughter in defying a court order that granted visitation rights to the father of their two-year-old grandchild. The mother was also held in contempt of the court order. The father alleged that cultural differences and false accusations of sexual misconduct were used to block his access to his child.
“This case demonstrates how unchecked conflict can spiral out of control, leaving children caught in the middle,” says Abro. “It is a poignant reminder that parents—and their extended families—must focus on the best interests of the child, not their grievances against each other.”
A social worker involved in the case reported that the child appeared happy and comfortable in her father’s care, showing no signs of distress or trauma. The Durban High Court ruling confirmed the unsubstantiated nature of the sexual misconduct allegations and highlighted the harm caused by denying the father access to his child.
The South African Law Reform Commission continues to explore community-based alternative dispute resolution mechanisms, including the involvement of traditional leaders in child-focused negotiations. Meanwhile, family law specialists are advocating for the establishment of a dedicated Family Division within the High Court to handle these sensitive matters more effectively.
“Whether through mediation, collaboration, or proposed legislative changes, the goal is always to protect the child’s well-being,” says Abro. “Parents must remember that their roles as caregivers endure beyond the divorce and require mutual respect and cooperation.”
As International Child-Centered Divorce Month reminds us, adopting a child-centred approach is not just a legal obligation but a moral imperative. It ensures children emerge from this challenging transition with resilience and emotional security.
